I hate being LAZY!!

I wish I could be more motivated! I've been fat for so long. I don't remember ever being thin. I know I was thinner at some point in my life but I truthfully don't remember. I want to get this weight off , I've definitely made my mind up. I will NOT  be fat forever. I just wish it was easier! I go to bed at night telling myself  "Tomorrow I'm going to gym no matter what". I wake up and eat a healthy breakfast still thinking I can do it. Then something distracts me like the computer or T.V. (damn you netflix!!) The day just keeps ticking away and I never make it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know what I need to do to get this weight off but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. It sucks!

I had my first weeks weigh in last Saturday the 14th. It was good. I lost 1.2 lbs! I couldn't help but feel like it should have been more for some reason. I was probably being unreasonable but I was thinking it would be like a huge week. 3 pounds or more! There is nothing wrong with what I lost I'm not trying to complain. It's just hard.

I just try to keep in mind the fact that I didn't put all this weight on overnight so it's not going to come off that easily! haha Hope this week's weigh in is good. I've been tracking all week at least I know that works. I will eventually work on this whole work out thing. I can get there right?

A Brand New ME!!

Last year I started this weight loss journey and was in high hopes. I had this idea it would be easy. I had a personal trainer and he was going to kick my butt into shape. I was going to eat right and follow weight watchers like I was supposed to. It would just fall off right? I was sadly mistaken. It wasn't easy at all and I was disappointed in my PT. He was a great trainer don't get me wrong. We worked together on a couple different occasions but that's the thing only a couple of times over the 6 months I used him.  He got busy then I needed surgery and nothing ever lined up again. After we tried to get back on track he kind of just quit getting in touch with me. I understood he was just starting a new job and trying to get back on his feet. This meant his side job, which was the personal training thing, would have to fall by the wayside. Needless to say we stopped getting together. On top of that I no longer had my motivation! 

I have decided that this year 2012 I was going to get this weigh off myself. I can do this!  No one force fed me the high amounts of calories and fat that got me this way right?  So, why should I depend on anyone else to help me get it off. I have excellent support in my family and friends and that helps a whole lot! They are amazing but I have to do this for me. In 2011 I lost a total of 27 lbs which isn't a bad start I know but I can't help but feel disappointed in myself. If I had stayed focused and really tried I could have been down 3 times that much! This year WILL be different it just has to. If I can get this weight off now I can maybe think about starting a family. Which is my ultimate goal! I want to get fit and healthy so I can be ready for the next step in my life! I CAN DO THIS!! I CAN DO THIS!! I ...CAN... DO... THIS!!

Back at it again!

Hello all,
It has been way too long since I have posted. I have had a rough couple of weeks. We moved and with me not working I have been trying to pull our house together. I also have been busy looking for a job! I finally got to meet with my personal trainer today. We were suppose to meet the Monday before we moved but I had way too much to do and really couldn't focus on the training. We went to LA Fitness today after lunch and did a quick warm up on the damn elliptical only 5 minutes thank goodness. Then we went to do a workout on my legs. A few different exercises for each different muscle. It was short but very good. As the day progressed I started to feel the muscles tighten. Hopefully I won't be too sore tomorrow!!
Update on weight loss: I hit 30 pounds 2 weeks ago. This past saturday weigh in though I was up one pound. So my current weight loss is 29 lbs. I hope to have an awesome week this week and get past the 30 pound mark next Saturday. I really am focusing on this journey. No more set backs. I am PUMPED!!!!

As for my trainer... I'm not sure...

I am not sure if my pt is still on board. He just switched jobs and is very busy so I don't blame him for not being available. He doesn't do the training thing full time. I need to some how get my act together. With or without someone there. This journey is for me and me alone. I want to get healthy for my future, right? I don't know how to stay focused. I keep losing my motivation. What do I do? I need prayers. I need guidance from the Lord!

On top of my trainer not being available I am most likely losing my job next week. My employer is not getting paid at her current job and that means they don't have the funds to pay me. I am VERY upset to be leaving my kids. I am not sure what I'll be doing after next week. If I can't find work soon enough I will have to cancel my gym membership. I hope to GOD it doesn't come to that!! On the other hand I don't want to actively look for a full time job if my employer finds work soon. If I take a job I may not be available to come back to this family. If everything happens for a reason...why did this happen to me? I can't answer that right now and it scares me. I know this wasn't about the exercise thing but I needed to get it off my chest!

Anyone have any words of wisdom that could help??

Needs someone to kick my butt!

I realized that even though I made it to the gym today for the first time since my surgery. I did not do everything to the best of my ability. I felt I fell short today. I was disappointed in myself! I went ONLY 20 minutes on the damn elliptical and couldn't go anymore! GRR I hate how hard this is to stay motivated! I believe I need my pt there to help kick my ass and keep on track. But he's busy so I should be able to keep myself on track! It's tough! How do I make this easier?! Can I take a pill that makes it all better? GOD please give my strength! I need to get healthy for my future!

NEEDS to get back to the gym!

While I wasn't eating very much last week I ended up losing 4 pounds! Which put me at my 10%! Getting back to the grove of eating the right things was harder then I thought. For a week and a half I could eat whatever I wanted (if I felt like eating at all). I didn't really count points. Now I have to focus and eating the right thing and counting everything. And all I want to do is eat badly! It was hard for me to make the right choices this week. I feel like I am probably going to gain at least 2 pounds back if not more! I hate this feeling!!!!

I also haven't felt like getting to the gym. I'm still in pain and want to just be lazy! I need to call my trainer and go ahead and plan something this weekend or something so I can get back on it! This has been one of the toughest 2 weeks since I started again! I need some encouragement!!!

Nothing to report fitness wise.

I am still recovering from my surgery. So I have not made it back to the gym yet. Apparently day 10 is the turning point. Day 10 will this Saturday. So hopefully I will start to feel a difference soon! I know I'm getting better everyday but my throat still kills me! I had to go back to work because I need the money. I went for my first post op yesterday and the nurse practitioner was surprised I had went back to work already. Most adults she said don't go back until at least a week after surgery. I couldn't afford that. I also was worried about my employer finding a replacement for me. I didn't want to leave her high and dry! I am excited to weigh in on Saturday because like I said in my last post the only good thing about this surgery is the weight loss. This week I have consumed very little food wise. I finally ate real food on Tuesday. I had chicken noodle soup in the blender!! Haha! Then last night I had a weight watchers smart ones frozen dinner. It was the pasta dish with vodka cream sauce. My husband blended that for me as well! It was yummy and only 8 points plus! I would definitely recommend that one non blended of course! I hope that on Saturday I not only drop a good amount of weight but also start to feel better!

The ONLY good thing about getting your tonsils out...

is the weight loss! Lol I haven't felt much like eating in the past 3 days since having my tonsils removed on Thursday  From last Saturday until Wednesday I ate on plan and followed weight watchers. So I want to see how I did this week. I lost another 1.6 lbs! That's a total of 25.6!! and I got my first 25 pound little weight thingy to go on my 10% key chain when I finally lose 29 lbs which should be soon! I hope the weight stays off though, and I don't pig out when I get back to eating real food! Motivation is key!

Maybe chocolate won't be my enemy anymore...

The weekend of Easter I weighed in on Saturday and I was presently surprised! I was down another 2 pounds! My total loss is 23.2 since January 2nd. Easter was Sunday and it was a blast! We did Easter morning with my baby niece and the Easter Bunny brought me some cadbury eggs and a chocolate cover rice crispy treat. I was worried about my intake of sweets now that Lent is over.  We then went to see family in Locust Grove, Ga and had lunch there. On the Menu was 2 kinds of ham, 2 potato salads, baked bean, sliced bakery bread for sandwiches, pasta salad, chips, and other miscellaneous things. For dessert there was a fluffy fruit salad with whipped cream and 2 huge soup kettles full of cookies! I indulged in the a few small cookies and that was it there. We drove home about 45 minutes. Then headed over to my in laws for Easter dinner. On the menu there 2 more kinds of ham, baked beans, macaroni salad, potato salad, and yeast rolls. I ate all day. I went over 30 points in one day. I felt bad but then I thought that's what the extra weekly points are for right? I continued on with my week and sweets haven't really gotten to me. I have been "allowed" to eat sweets for a couple weeks now and I've indulged but not overly so. I hope this feeling of not needing to over indulge sticks with me for a while!

This past week I worked out with my trainer twice. Once on Thursday once late in the evening on Friday! They were great workouts. Thursday we did push muscles and some ab exercises. Focus was on shoulders, so we used the bar to do some standing push ups. We also did some stuff on the floor for my abs.  I felt them right away. Then Friday at 9 p.m. I did circuit training. Man my personal trainer really kick my butt!! I did six different exercises at 1 minute each 4 times.  It was hard to get through but I did it!!
This past weekend I weighed in and I was down .8 of a pound. Which brings my total to 24 pounds! I am so proud my progress. If I keep going at this rate I will be close to my loss goal of 100 pounds by then end of the year! :)