I hate being LAZY!!

I wish I could be more motivated! I've been fat for so long. I don't remember ever being thin. I know I was thinner at some point in my life but I truthfully don't remember. I want to get this weight off , I've definitely made my mind up. I will NOT  be fat forever. I just wish it was easier! I go to bed at night telling myself  "Tomorrow I'm going to gym no matter what". I wake up and eat a healthy breakfast still thinking I can do it. Then something distracts me like the computer or T.V. (damn you netflix!!) The day just keeps ticking away and I never make it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know what I need to do to get this weight off but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. It sucks!

I had my first weeks weigh in last Saturday the 14th. It was good. I lost 1.2 lbs! I couldn't help but feel like it should have been more for some reason. I was probably being unreasonable but I was thinking it would be like a huge week. 3 pounds or more! There is nothing wrong with what I lost I'm not trying to complain. It's just hard.

I just try to keep in mind the fact that I didn't put all this weight on overnight so it's not going to come off that easily! haha Hope this week's weigh in is good. I've been tracking all week at least I know that works. I will eventually work on this whole work out thing. I can get there right?

A Brand New ME!!

Last year I started this weight loss journey and was in high hopes. I had this idea it would be easy. I had a personal trainer and he was going to kick my butt into shape. I was going to eat right and follow weight watchers like I was supposed to. It would just fall off right? I was sadly mistaken. It wasn't easy at all and I was disappointed in my PT. He was a great trainer don't get me wrong. We worked together on a couple different occasions but that's the thing only a couple of times over the 6 months I used him.  He got busy then I needed surgery and nothing ever lined up again. After we tried to get back on track he kind of just quit getting in touch with me. I understood he was just starting a new job and trying to get back on his feet. This meant his side job, which was the personal training thing, would have to fall by the wayside. Needless to say we stopped getting together. On top of that I no longer had my motivation! 

I have decided that this year 2012 I was going to get this weigh off myself. I can do this!  No one force fed me the high amounts of calories and fat that got me this way right?  So, why should I depend on anyone else to help me get it off. I have excellent support in my family and friends and that helps a whole lot! They are amazing but I have to do this for me. In 2011 I lost a total of 27 lbs which isn't a bad start I know but I can't help but feel disappointed in myself. If I had stayed focused and really tried I could have been down 3 times that much! This year WILL be different it just has to. If I can get this weight off now I can maybe think about starting a family. Which is my ultimate goal! I want to get fit and healthy so I can be ready for the next step in my life! I CAN DO THIS!! I CAN DO THIS!! I ...CAN... DO... THIS!!