A Brand New ME!!

Last year I started this weight loss journey and was in high hopes. I had this idea it would be easy. I had a personal trainer and he was going to kick my butt into shape. I was going to eat right and follow weight watchers like I was supposed to. It would just fall off right? I was sadly mistaken. It wasn't easy at all and I was disappointed in my PT. He was a great trainer don't get me wrong. We worked together on a couple different occasions but that's the thing only a couple of times over the 6 months I used him.  He got busy then I needed surgery and nothing ever lined up again. After we tried to get back on track he kind of just quit getting in touch with me. I understood he was just starting a new job and trying to get back on his feet. This meant his side job, which was the personal training thing, would have to fall by the wayside. Needless to say we stopped getting together. On top of that I no longer had my motivation! 

I have decided that this year 2012 I was going to get this weigh off myself. I can do this!  No one force fed me the high amounts of calories and fat that got me this way right?  So, why should I depend on anyone else to help me get it off. I have excellent support in my family and friends and that helps a whole lot! They are amazing but I have to do this for me. In 2011 I lost a total of 27 lbs which isn't a bad start I know but I can't help but feel disappointed in myself. If I had stayed focused and really tried I could have been down 3 times that much! This year WILL be different it just has to. If I can get this weight off now I can maybe think about starting a family. Which is my ultimate goal! I want to get fit and healthy so I can be ready for the next step in my life! I CAN DO THIS!! I CAN DO THIS!! I ...CAN... DO... THIS!!

Back at it again!

Hello all,
It has been way too long since I have posted. I have had a rough couple of weeks. We moved and with me not working I have been trying to pull our house together. I also have been busy looking for a job! I finally got to meet with my personal trainer today. We were suppose to meet the Monday before we moved but I had way too much to do and really couldn't focus on the training. We went to LA Fitness today after lunch and did a quick warm up on the damn elliptical only 5 minutes thank goodness. Then we went to do a workout on my legs. A few different exercises for each different muscle. It was short but very good. As the day progressed I started to feel the muscles tighten. Hopefully I won't be too sore tomorrow!!
Update on weight loss: I hit 30 pounds 2 weeks ago. This past saturday weigh in though I was up one pound. So my current weight loss is 29 lbs. I hope to have an awesome week this week and get past the 30 pound mark next Saturday. I really am focusing on this journey. No more set backs. I am PUMPED!!!!

As for my trainer... I'm not sure...

I am not sure if my pt is still on board. He just switched jobs and is very busy so I don't blame him for not being available. He doesn't do the training thing full time. I need to some how get my act together. With or without someone there. This journey is for me and me alone. I want to get healthy for my future, right? I don't know how to stay focused. I keep losing my motivation. What do I do? I need prayers. I need guidance from the Lord!

On top of my trainer not being available I am most likely losing my job next week. My employer is not getting paid at her current job and that means they don't have the funds to pay me. I am VERY upset to be leaving my kids. I am not sure what I'll be doing after next week. If I can't find work soon enough I will have to cancel my gym membership. I hope to GOD it doesn't come to that!! On the other hand I don't want to actively look for a full time job if my employer finds work soon. If I take a job I may not be available to come back to this family. If everything happens for a reason...why did this happen to me? I can't answer that right now and it scares me. I know this wasn't about the exercise thing but I needed to get it off my chest!

Anyone have any words of wisdom that could help??

Needs someone to kick my butt!

I realized that even though I made it to the gym today for the first time since my surgery. I did not do everything to the best of my ability. I felt I fell short today. I was disappointed in myself! I went ONLY 20 minutes on the damn elliptical and couldn't go anymore! GRR I hate how hard this is to stay motivated! I believe I need my pt there to help kick my ass and keep on track. But he's busy so I should be able to keep myself on track! It's tough! How do I make this easier?! Can I take a pill that makes it all better? GOD please give my strength! I need to get healthy for my future!

NEEDS to get back to the gym!

While I wasn't eating very much last week I ended up losing 4 pounds! Which put me at my 10%! Getting back to the grove of eating the right things was harder then I thought. For a week and a half I could eat whatever I wanted (if I felt like eating at all). I didn't really count points. Now I have to focus and eating the right thing and counting everything. And all I want to do is eat badly! It was hard for me to make the right choices this week. I feel like I am probably going to gain at least 2 pounds back if not more! I hate this feeling!!!!

I also haven't felt like getting to the gym. I'm still in pain and want to just be lazy! I need to call my trainer and go ahead and plan something this weekend or something so I can get back on it! This has been one of the toughest 2 weeks since I started again! I need some encouragement!!!

Nothing to report fitness wise.

I am still recovering from my surgery. So I have not made it back to the gym yet. Apparently day 10 is the turning point. Day 10 will this Saturday. So hopefully I will start to feel a difference soon! I know I'm getting better everyday but my throat still kills me! I had to go back to work because I need the money. I went for my first post op yesterday and the nurse practitioner was surprised I had went back to work already. Most adults she said don't go back until at least a week after surgery. I couldn't afford that. I also was worried about my employer finding a replacement for me. I didn't want to leave her high and dry! I am excited to weigh in on Saturday because like I said in my last post the only good thing about this surgery is the weight loss. This week I have consumed very little food wise. I finally ate real food on Tuesday. I had chicken noodle soup in the blender!! Haha! Then last night I had a weight watchers smart ones frozen dinner. It was the pasta dish with vodka cream sauce. My husband blended that for me as well! It was yummy and only 8 points plus! I would definitely recommend that one non blended of course! I hope that on Saturday I not only drop a good amount of weight but also start to feel better!

The ONLY good thing about getting your tonsils out...

is the weight loss! Lol I haven't felt much like eating in the past 3 days since having my tonsils removed on Thursday  From last Saturday until Wednesday I ate on plan and followed weight watchers. So I want to see how I did this week. I lost another 1.6 lbs! That's a total of 25.6!! and I got my first 25 pound little weight thingy to go on my 10% key chain when I finally lose 29 lbs which should be soon! I hope the weight stays off though, and I don't pig out when I get back to eating real food! Motivation is key!

Maybe chocolate won't be my enemy anymore...

The weekend of Easter I weighed in on Saturday and I was presently surprised! I was down another 2 pounds! My total loss is 23.2 since January 2nd. Easter was Sunday and it was a blast! We did Easter morning with my baby niece and the Easter Bunny brought me some cadbury eggs and a chocolate cover rice crispy treat. I was worried about my intake of sweets now that Lent is over.  We then went to see family in Locust Grove, Ga and had lunch there. On the Menu was 2 kinds of ham, 2 potato salads, baked bean, sliced bakery bread for sandwiches, pasta salad, chips, and other miscellaneous things. For dessert there was a fluffy fruit salad with whipped cream and 2 huge soup kettles full of cookies! I indulged in the a few small cookies and that was it there. We drove home about 45 minutes. Then headed over to my in laws for Easter dinner. On the menu there 2 more kinds of ham, baked beans, macaroni salad, potato salad, and yeast rolls. I ate all day. I went over 30 points in one day. I felt bad but then I thought that's what the extra weekly points are for right? I continued on with my week and sweets haven't really gotten to me. I have been "allowed" to eat sweets for a couple weeks now and I've indulged but not overly so. I hope this feeling of not needing to over indulge sticks with me for a while!

This past week I worked out with my trainer twice. Once on Thursday once late in the evening on Friday! They were great workouts. Thursday we did push muscles and some ab exercises. Focus was on shoulders, so we used the bar to do some standing push ups. We also did some stuff on the floor for my abs.  I felt them right away. Then Friday at 9 p.m. I did circuit training. Man my personal trainer really kick my butt!! I did six different exercises at 1 minute each 4 times.  It was hard to get through but I did it!!
This past weekend I weighed in and I was down .8 of a pound. Which brings my total to 24 pounds! I am so proud my progress. If I keep going at this rate I will be close to my loss goal of 100 pounds by then end of the year! :)

As Lent comes to an end...Sweets become a temptation again!!

Being a bigger gal most of my life, I have eaten A LOT  of foods. Generally I didn't care about what I ate because it was so delicious. The calories in the food did not matter to me. I'd eat salty foods like bags of kettle cooked chips or large french fries from McDonald's. I'd eat sweets like they were going out of style! Doughnuts for breakfast, then candy with lunch, and then a tub of ice cream as dessert after dinner. As an adult approaching a time in her life where this weight needs to come off or else.  I've chosen to be on this life style change we call Weight Watchers. They promote all the time not to deprive ourselves because that can cause problems later. This time around I have tried not to deprive myself at all but its hard. I'd see my husband, who can eat whatever the hell he wants and not gain an ounce, eat a huge slice of cake after dinner and of course I couldn't have that! I would fix a little,tiny sliver of cake. Just as tasty right? I would have ice cream when I wanted it and buy a candy bar to split with hubby but I felt like I would "save" points for those empty calories too often. When it came time for me to give something up for Lent it was a no brainer. I've given up soda before when I was hooked on regular mountain dew. It was difficult but I wasn't on a "diet" then so I could fill my craving for something sweet with whatever I wanted. Now if I gave up sweets that was it. It was a little difficult in the beginning because sugar was the thing I turned to when I was happy or sad or bored. Shortly after Lent began though it got easier. I didn't think about the sweets as much anymore, When my 8 year old niece had her birthday on April 10th, the fact that EVERYONE got to eat cake did not bother me in the least. The closer it gets to Easter I've been thinking about what I'm going to eat just because I can. My list seems to be growing fast. I need to stay focused on what my goals are. Maybe I should limit my sweet intake to a number. Like 2 pieces of chocolate or something like that. I don't want to old habits to rush back and ruin how far I've come.

No word from the pt since he went on vacation. I sent him an email telling him I did not do the workouts like he asked me to do while he was gone. I haven't gotten anything back yet. I assume he's just busy getting back to the grind. I would like to hear something though like the plan for the week ahead. I feel like this is going to be an awesome week on the scale. Even though I have not been to the gym I know I will be down. If I have any faith in this life style change I know I will be down. I followed the plan perfectly. I got my recommended fruits/veggies, milks, oils and liquids. I have very high hopes for Saturday morning! :)

Trying to get back on track.

I started last week in high hopes. I was going to meet my trainer twice this week and then 1-2 other workouts by myself. He was going out of town from Thursday-Sunday, so we had to get our sessions in earlier in the week.  I met with my pt on Tuesday. He had me start on the elliptical for a warm up. I did 15 minutes. I seems to be a piece of cake now. After the warm up he told me we were focusing on cardio this week. I then followed him to the stair master. DUN DUN DUN Remember when I used to hate the damn elliptical? Well my new hatred is the DAMN stair master. I don't think I have ever stayed on that freakin thing for longer then 30-45 SECONDS. He had me do 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES!!! After about one I wanted to get off! It's hard to move this 250+ pound body up those stairs. I do not enjoy it in the least! Then we headed to the treadmill. We did 45 second intervals at 3.5 mph followed by 30 second intervals at 2.0 mph. That lasted for about 11 minutes. He said we had one more  thing to do. I figured maybe closing on the elliptical or stationary bike. No! I was wrong! We went back to the stair master!  Can you believe it?  I was like "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" He laugh and said no. I wanted to die... of course I didn't. My lazy ass can't comprehend actually making my body move that hard and not passing out. I guess I can do this.

The plan was to meet again on Wednesday. I forgot I told my dad I would go with him and the family to the UHaul health fair thing. So I had to cancel on Mr.Joe. I felt bad but I promised him I would not let him down on the rest of the workouts this week. I was going to go 2 or 3 more times between Thursday and Sunday. Did I make it to one of those workouts??? NO! Things come up and it is so easy for me to talk myself out of going. My motivation never stays with me. I had ample time to go but I didn't. I feel really bad for not making after I promised my pt I would go. I haven't broken the news to him that I never made it back to the gym since last Tuesday. He's a nice guy so he I don't think he will yell. I do want to get better at this though. I want my motivation to always be there. I wonder if this will get any easier. I have to have faith that it will!

Weigh-in not so good but life is good!

Saturday morning I woke up when my mom called to ask if we were still going to the 8 am weight watchers meeting. I truly couldn't peel myself out of bed yet. I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep up to that point. So I slept for another hour and we went to the 9:15 am meeting instead. I weighed in and it wasn't great. I was hoping for something positive on the scale but I was up 1.6 pounds. I was very upset. All this hard work for what? I know why I was up... too much alcohol the night before plus lack of sleep didn't help! But I put time in at the gym with my pt and I ate the way I was supposed to I should not have been up that much! UGH! I was frustrated. Then I thought about it. At weight watchers they say whether or not I have a good week should not only depend on the scale.  I pushed my body this more then I have in the past. I should be proud of that! It is what it is. If I keep pushing my body I know I will be down next week. Even if I'm not though I will be proud of my NON scale accomplishments!

Last night I went meet my trainer to do my pull workout. We worked out back, biceps, and some other muscle all at the same time. I started off on the damn elliptical and did 16.5 minutes while my pt Mr. Joe finished up his workout. He came to get me and we went to the treadmill for a 13 minute fast walk. I told him I needed to put more time in on the treadmill because I will be participating in my very first 5k on May 22nd. I'm kind of nervous because it seems like a lot. Truthfully its only 3.1 miles and I believe I can do it! Then we headed downstairs to work on machines. The pull workout didn't take very long, though I did feel the workout right away. This morning I felt great! I know this is all going to pay off in the end! I just KNOW IT!!

Is this worth it?

Yesterday I had another workout with my trainer . It wasn't very long but it must have been effective because I can definitely feel it! It was so difficult to move today. Ive got soreness in my legs (calfs, hamstrings, and whatever the top muscle is called) and I've got soreness in my chest, shoulders, and triceps from our push workout last night! I guess deep down inside I know it's worth it but I am so sore I could barely walk around the mall today with the kids. When Ben looks at me and says "I want up" I've got to pick him up! He's too darn cute not to. And Hailey says "I have a secret come here", I'm sure as hell not bending down with as sore as my thighs are. So I have to pick her up too. Even though it hurts. All I really wanted today is sleep. But I've got an 8 hour shift then family dinner at the in-laws then a party with hubby's friends. No time to rest. Tomorrow I know I will have some accomplishment on the scale and that will help to see this all coming together. I will also have a 3rd session with the pt Mr. Joe in 4 days. Wahhhhhh!!!

So sore!

I had a great day yesterday! Wednesdays are my new off day during the week. It used to be on Thursdays so its something I've got to get used to. I had lunch with my sister and brother. We went to the Stadium on East Piedmont and it was ehhh. I don't know why we go back there because its never that good! Then after my sister and I went shopping. We met up with my parents, husband, and baby niece to go walking at the park. It was a blast! The trails are fun and feel like your really hiking. The track is nice as well. I used my stop watch on  my phone to keep up with the time and we walked for 47 minutes!! Yeah! It was fun!

Everyone headed home and I went to the gym to meet Mr. Joe my personal trainer. We haven't met up in a while. It was about 7 p.m. and we started on the treadmill. (boo) He asked how I've been doing and of course I told him about my weight loss as of yet! (I just realized I never posted about this. I hit 20 lbs down this past Saturday. Which was the end of my mothers and my  first 90 day challenge. I won!!) He told me he want to try and push our sessions to 3 times a week so we can help this weight loss along! We did legs! I don't mind doing legs for the most part because I normally can do the exercises easier. I obviously have a lot of muscle in my legs I mean I have to to be able to carry around my fat ass. So we some stuff with just the weight of my body and some on the machines with weights. It was a good session. I definitely felt it! I was dreading this morning and being sore. I am very sore though its nothing I can't handle. If I move around enough today with the kids I should be alright! I am meeting Joe tonight around the same time for another session! I am assuming its going to focus on upper body because my legs are dead.

Spoke with my trainer today!

Today was my second anniversary with my wonderful husband! So I truly did not feel like going to the gym. But I did speak with my pt and Mr. Joe wants to meet with me 3 times this week! Wednesday, Thursday, and  Saturday! AHHH! I might die! Pray for me that I make it out alive!

Failed...

I did not make it to the gym yesterday! BOO! I can't make it today because a crazy day at work and plans family dinner afterwards. (Which we are not hosting now, My husbands "sister" decided she was going to do it this week instead) I still could make it today after family dinner. If I leave by 9 I can make it to the gym before they close at 10P.M. but let's face it. I'm way too lazy to make it to the gym that late in the evening. *sigh* Tomorrow starts a new week. Pray for better outcome!!

Motivation PLEASE come back?

I'm not sure where my motivation is hiding but I hope it comes out soon. I have NOT been to the gym this week and there's no good reason why. Hopefully I can make it tomorrow and get a good workout in. I will not be able to make it on Friday because I am working my normal job 8:45 am to 6:15 pm and also watching 3 ADDITIONAL children from 7:00am to 12:45 pm its going to be rough but awesome! Then we are hosting family dinner again. On the menu my healthy twist on meatloaf and garlic broccoli! Its going to be yummo!!

It's been too long...

Unfortunately I have no good reason for not posting. My only excuse is I am SUPER lazy. I forgot about it the first week I didn't post and then felt bad for not making it to the gym to many times so I continued not to post anything. Anyways heres a recap of past few weeks:

Week of March 7th-13th

I think I worked out twice this week. Since I did not make a post I have no record of it so I can't be certain. Stupid me. I will get better at this whole blogging thing I promise. 

Week of March 14th-20th

I had one of my best weeks EVER! I made it to the gym on Monday in the morning and worked out 37 minutes. WOOT! That evening after having an early dinner ($1 sushi night) with my hubby we headed to meet my mom, sister, and baby niece at East Cobb park. We did 30 minutes of brisk walking around the track! It was so beautiful and Kaydin (my baby niece) loved it! Tuesday I did 40 minutes! Wednesday I did 43 minutes! and Friday I did 47 minutes!! Wow It was super hard to build up more and more everyday but I did it!!!

I did not make it to the gym this past week March 21st-27th.

I was sick with pharyngitis. Which I get from being a smoker. I know I shouldn't smoke I'll get there one day! I feel awful for not going because truthfully I was feeling better by Thursday. So I had ample time to make it to the gym.

I have finally spoken with my personal trainer and we will hopefully have another session this week! I am pumped! I had a bad few weeks off and on but I know this is a LONG journey I'm on. It's not going to be easy so I will have bad weeks I just need to get past them. 

Update on weight loss on weight watchers: I have lost 17.8 lbs total. Not to shabby I must say!

Thanks for your support!

Kinect Adventures is so fun!

I was off of work today and spent the day with my sister and baby niece. We had a fun day and Kaydin is so adorable. I had planned to make it to the gym but the day got away from me. My sister and I enjoy some China House Chinese food for dinner it was awesome! Afterwards we wanted to get some activity in so put in the kinect adventures game. We did 30 minutes of hard activity on that game! Part of it wasn't that hard but we did one that was harder than we have ever done. It was an amazing workout. I felt it right after. I love that feeling!

Why is it so hard?

It was so hard to get out of bed this morning just to go to the gym. If it was for my husband or baby niece I'd be there in a second. But for me to get out of bed to drive to the gym so I can sweat and hurt . I don't think so! Probably was extra hard because I didn't go to bed until 4am. After snoozing a billion times haha I got up and around fed the dog and left . I finally got to the gym and got to work on the damn elliptical! It was hard and painful but I kick its ass. I did 38 minutes burned 481 calories and went 2.71 miles!!!! YEAH! I did it! I was pretty tired afterwards plus I needed to eat something. I grabbed a banana and scarfed it down. BAD IDEA! I felt super nauseous and wanted to hurl. Breathed through it. Went and grabbed some sushi to eat later for lunch. Then headed to work. All and all it was a slow but good start to my day. Now if I could do it more often with out all the laziness it would be so much better!!

Bowling for activity?

Yes bowling counts as activity! My husband , brother, sister, a few friends and I all went bowling last night. It was $5 all you can bowl in 3 hours. We did 3 people per lane so it went very fast and you didn't get to sit for very long in between. All together we were bowling for 2 1/2 hours. So I counted it was 2 hours of activity. That was 15 points added to my weekly activity log. (In weight watchers you can earn activity points for doing anything active i.e. vacuuming, swimming, bowling, almost anything. We then can choose to trade those points in for food. I try not to. I feel like its pointless)